Going to Salons in Nigeria is every woman' thingy. As a lady, you would have visited a salon once before the age of 21 in Nigeria. Seated a certain day in the salon in Eastern Nigeria, I KNEW, I would have endless topics to share with my wonders. I made Cocowonder Vlog Come to light and become successful from this singular decision.
Recently, I was almost admitted to the hospital for Listening To An Emetic Discussion. I practically rushed to the restroom to Vomit. The discussion, though common and regular and everywhere I visited growing up, had not come closest to my ears, (in the physical) for about 12 months.
One good friend was busy making my hair in her salon when her friend walked in and they greeted. The friend who walked in, Let's call her Cynthia was beautifully endowed. Gosh! You see, there's something about African & then Nigerian Women. They KNOW how to be beautiful. They Practically Just know how to be beautiful.
The discussion went on after pleasantries, Coco is really good to meet you. Thanks, Cynthia, Alice( My friend) told me you will be coming.
Cynthia now asked Alice if she has started talking to her husband, to which Alice scream NO WAY! Im so not talking to him, I am not taking his calls, and I am not ready for his nonsense.
I was not aware of any of this. I am also well trained (self-improved), so I know too well how NOT to interfere with OTHERS Issues. I've Got a Ph.D. on that.
Cynthia responded: Take it easy Alice, take it easy, Remember he is your husband, the HEAD OF YOUR HOUSE, even the Bible says so.
THEN, RIGHT THEN, I WISHED MY HAIR WAS DONE! I STARTED GRASPING FOR AIR, MY WHOLE BODY BECAME ANAEMIC, I ALMOST WENT INTO GRAND MAL SEIZURES, I REMARKABLY HAD AN EPISODE, I SAW DEATH - I KNEW A 911 EMERGENCY MAY BE APPLIED!
Alice retorted: Can he speak to his girlfriend the way he spoke to me?
THEN, MY CASE RAPIDLY DETERIORATED... I BECAME A CASE OF VERTIGO, MY INNER EARS STARTED RINGING ALSO, I KNEW WITH THIS DEGREE OF IMBALANCE, MY HAIR MAY BE POSTPONED.
Cynthia replied again; Calm down, You Know MEN ARE LIKE BABIES!
I REQUESTED MY FRIEND TO EXCUSE ME, I NEEDED TO STAND UP BRIEFLY - MY BODY TEMPERATURE WAS TOO HOT...I COULDN'T STAND, TINNITUS HAD SET INTO MY BRAIN CELLS. EMOTIONS WERE SUFFERING...
Alice continued: Coco, please let me explain this thing to you eh!
MY EYES WERE BEGGING HER NOT TO. I DIDNT NEED MORE. MY LIPS BECAME SEALED AND EMPTY, I REALISE I COULDNT FORM WORDS - I STAMMERED, I DRANK SOME WATER
She finished explaining, My hair suffered the pain of pulling it and talking and two women 'Husbanding' on my health...I STILL STAYED SILENT.
Cynthia JUST WOULDNT LET ME BE...SHE STILL HAD TO DRAG ME IN.
Please, finish up my hair ALICE, I gotta blog for one hour, write personal stories for 45 minutes, check updates online for 15minutes, drive home for 15 minutes, have an extra 90minutes nap and work for 12 hours today. Please, You even know my program right? Please wrap my hair up.
Some Topics, ARE NO LONGER worth my health, my brain, my common sense and my Time.
You Know MEN ARE BABIES, Your husband is a baby, who has a girlfriend that he SPEAKS TO BETTER THAN HE SPEAKS TO YOU, and you are having a good life making money from making my hair and you look beautiful and have OTHER beautiful 'HUSBAND HEAD' Friends
WHY ON EARTH DO YOU NEED MY TIME? WHAT DO WE 'EXPECT' BABIES TO DO?
TO MORE THAN WE CAN ALL BE
Copyright reserved, © Collette Orji
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