Before I was 8 years old, I had seen at least 20 WOMEN Being chased out of their matrimonial homes in Africa publicly.
The men will pack their loads and push them around and bring them outside amidst shouts and quarrels of course. Other neighbours will pick the woman up and later on, go beg the husband and much later, you will see the women go back 'Shamefully' to their home.
It was too random, very common and so normal that it was a game for us the kids. Some days, we would say -oh, today was mama Solange, Tomorrow will be Mama Lucia. You see, That's how common it was and that's how far back domestic violence mostly against women prevailed. This was even for the married women, matters for the single mothers then is a whole TV Series.
I had toughened up. I knew marriage is not all that ROSES from those ages and I had told myself a couple of truth. I will tell my friend Precious Ijeoma Igbonwelundu at that young age, I will build a very big house, and marry my husband and he will stay in my house. I will not stay in his house so that they won't be throwing my things outside everytime we fight. My friend always agreed. And she too promised that and we prepared our high road. You needed to see us make these plans - albeit we wish we knew better. LOL
My beautiful Mum, Carolynn, she would scream...Hey, my daughter, don't talk like that. it is not right for a girl to talk like that. It is wrong and unheard of.Don't ever repeat what you said about. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A GIRL?
I will come back tomorrow again saying, I will make plenty money, in this life, buy a car, build you a house, become the president of Nigeria and send all men who beat their wives to jail and my mother will hold my mouth from the road and squeeze it and beat me and scream ABOMINATION...DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A GIRL?
I will fight verbally with boys in my classroom over Exams, Beat them hands down, Fly out with the First positions all day in school and tell them I am no ordinary girl. I am a super girl and sometimes they will get physical 'TYPICAL' Of course and I will tell them no more showing you answers. I will come back and tell my mother, I will not employ any of those boys in my company and None of them can live in my house when I shall build them and before I finish, I will get a big slap in my face and a pull by my hand and another remindance - DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A GIRL?
So, you see, my mother gave me all that she had, before I turned 16, everything, especially because I WAS A GIRL. You see, my mother, Carolynn, got married before 17 and at my age today had six kids. I am a girl in 5 Boys... So yes... growing up, I knew my place, because as you can see...I AM A GIRL.
My mother, reminded me, constantly, over and over and over and over again. You are a girl, you are not supposed to dream too much, to think highly of yourself too much, to be smart too much, to think of becoming anything else than A GIRL AND FUTURE WIFE.
Just take a moment, a minute, a second at this juncture and ask yourself... WHAT IF I WAS A BOY? WHAT IF MY VAGINA DISAPPEARED AND BECAME A PENIS OVERNIGHT? WILL IT THEN BECOME OKAY FOR ME TO DREAM big, THINK big, EXCEL big? Just what if I was a boy....what could have been my sweetest mothers responses 'IF' i were a boy...Nut You see, I WAS JUST A GIRL TO MY MOTHER, that was all she knew, it was her greatest knowledge, she knew, better than anyone else, that she was a girl, and her life fulfillment was to grow up and become a WIFE AND MOTHER AND YES SHE WAS HAPPY ENJOYING HER LIFE...AFTERALL, SHE'S A WOMAN.
So, Yes, my mother, sweet CARO, gave me, everything that she had...BECAUSE I WAS A GIRL.
Before I was 16, I knew the answer to most questions - It's Because I am a girl.
My Question - What are you telling Your DAUGHTER TODAY? What Do You Teach Her? Are You really seeing this world TODAY?
Collette Orji
Thank You so much for reading...To Be Continued...
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