Blog Visitor Ogeh Cynthia - On the day of the #Rape, I was super excited, I was looking forward to my first interior decorating job contract...


The Lion Queen Diaries...

On the day of the #Rape, I was super excited, I was looking forward to my first interior decorating job contract. Our family friend of ten years had asked me to come get the measurement for his new place. He told my mum about it, my mother thanked him for availing such life changing opportunity to me. I was both elated and humbled. I was determined to make my mark. After all, I was a full-fledged teenager with many plans and visions plus a certain sense of responsibility.


I was about to leave the house when goose bumps attacked me. It was a hot January afternoon in Nigeria. The sun was shining, you can imagine my surprise. I perceived a restlessness within My gut feeling/instinct. The tiny small voice within me was jumpy. That tiny small voice we are all blessed with kept yelling "Oge don't go" I heard it and I completely ignored it. It spoke again, louder and firmer with greater goose bumps. I attributed the uneasiness I was feeling with the devil trying to keep me away from my business opportunity. I didn't know #My #Chi was warning me of the danger ahead. 
I said a short prayer, I left. Two hours later, a storm erupted. I was brutally raped, beaten and violated. Again and again and again. I fought back, I begged but the beast was beyond redemption. This was a man I called big brother, a family to the family, he ate our food, he laughed and cried with us, a man my mother called son, he was the same man that committed this grieve injustice against me. 

What was my offense, I asked him? What wrong did I ever do to You? He said I'm sorry. He said I'm sorry. He kept saying I'm sorry. I left with my torn clothes. The humiliation was beyond painful. I couldn't say anything to anyone, It was particularly devastating. The most painful part was the alienation from myself, it had a profound effect on me. Just like a bee taken out of the beehive, I couldn't talk to myself anymore. I didn't have the context to understand why My personal #Chi stood afar off or why My gut feeling went mute. It was an unending despair.

The cost of that rape had been great, the wounds raw and the scars still very fresh. 17 years inside this Iron Cage is enough punishment already. I am tired of this pain. I want to be free...

#SelfTherapy

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