Collette Orji - why are you waiting for your boyfriend to propose to you when you can equally propose?

They say think out of the box, I say yes, why not? Then I ask again..where is the box? How can I ever find it anyways when my mind is as free as the wind - going back and forth and only protected by my desire to learn and unlearn, to know and to shield.

 So, today, I'm here once again asking or ...Blabbing?

So many women activist worked too hard for girls and women like me to open our mouth and brag about gender equality. I salute all those women activist who worked so hard for the woman to be considered as an equal in humanity.  

But this bothers me a lot... why do women still wait for the man to propose to them? why do women, a girlfriend, a female partner in a relationship still waits for her boyfriend, male partner to propose to them? 

The excitement us, women have when we are proposed to, says a lot. That was something we have been waiting for, for so long or something we really desire, so why wait since we all now agree that we are equal.

Why don't you walk up to a man and tell him I like you, ask for their numbers too? or is this equality thing  - is it such a mirage or is it a working theory? does it work only in some parts? I mean this is not biology so why does a woman, who has been dating a man for over a year and definitely loves the man, and would do what it takes to be his wife, why does she still wait and pray and fast for something that's just before her? why can't she just get the ring and propose to her man?

where are all the female feminist and loud mouths and fair mouths and women who have helped us so far to achieve these goals. 
( Hey, no bashing here, I'm all for women ).

Free Shipping On All Orders Above $69 WITH CODE: AFFFS I want to see women woe, men. I want to see women propose to their boyfriends, I want to see women sharing wedding bills with the spouses, I want to see women go all the way. 

why remain single with your boyfriend for years and be waiting for him to propose? why not propose and if he says no, you guys talk to see why you should still stay or not?

why do women fool themselves a lot? why are you waiting for a man you like so much to woe you when you know he's single and is up for the taking, what are you waiting for?

why do we claim women rights only in things that seem OBVIOUS already? why don't we dare?

I've seen women wait for a man to ask them out on and out and they end up losing that first date.
I've seen women marry other guys because the ones they loved and preferred was delaying to propose? why didn't you propose so you know your stand?
My question is? are we equal only in workplaces, ethics...I am just wondering because I'm allowed to think and as a writer to write and go beyond my personal stories, so I'm long will you wait for your boyfriend to propose to you before you take the lead?

what is wrong with you proposing to your man?
Is it an abomination? Illegal ? Culturally abominable? Pride? Desperation?
what is it?
If it's an abomination for the woman to propose, why is it not same for the man? how far have we really gone with this journey of female empowerment and the feminist journey of equality of the sexes which by its own definitions is absolutely humane and in order.

why are you waiting for your boyfriend to propose to you when you can equally propose?
why are you waiting for a man to ask you out when you can equally do so?
please, my wonders....humour and lecture me, after all...we can all agree to disagree...Abi no be so?

Collette Orji

All rights reserved © Collette Orji 2017


  1. Nice one i must confess.....i truely undstd u... Its gud for either of d sex to propose to one another.... But our African mind woudnt allow our ladies to do so.... Some hv d courage to propose to a man but mayb tinking how d man will feel,how he will be seeing her? And men nowaydays gossip more than ladies, some of them will even take d mata to beer parlor just to let them know dat d lady initiated that....and if it finally works, some of them will want u to be living like a slave since u were d one that stepped out for d progress... Any little tin ,some will remind u d date , venue n time u proposed to them....i know wot pple that their so called lovely hubby that proposed to them with cars n houses r passing tru.... Let alone u (african lady) with ur church mind and love proposing to ur man..... I tink that is their fear...... Some of our African guys r drama kings.. OG

    1. Thanks OG- You just highlighted al the African, Daily Problem❤️

  2. With reverence to gender equality, nothing is wrong if a woman/man pronounces her/his marriage intention. Its only in africa that things are taken too extreme. I am happy coco is out to tackle it. Many will not understand her views and will call her myopic but in the long run when many have been drawn to undesrtand the continous changes in our present world. Only then will they come to thank her. Let me pause for now because we Africans are yet to accept CIVILIZATION...If a white lady who likes you can walk up to you and tell your her mind...why can't a Black lady do same??? Rhetorical..think!

    1. Wow! Thanks so much for taking out time to write it out. We have two answers to all questions.
      1. That is is white people tradition
      2. Bible

      They so scared of Change Uet they preach change in all schools. What a hippocritic life.


Drop Your Comment Here