Collette Orji - Husbands Stop Hiding You Money From Your Wives and Vice Versa and Talk More About Death Too...

It's happy memorial day in the states and a global holiday in most nations. I wanna use to medium to address topics that most folks dread from. Let's Talk About DEATH, My Wonders...

 Those who are my friends know that I talk about death almost equally as I talk about life. I have a whole book on death so I will write piece by piece here for now...It shall be continued...

Death can be defined as the 'end Of Life'...Every other definition ends here.


My dad died in April 2012, Then we found out what most folks have been going through, what most widows are still going through and what most children are still going through. The inability to access either their father's wealth,  money from the Banks in Nigeria. Yes! most people have become automatic poor people because they can't/couldn't access their fathers, their sisters. Wealth from the banks in Nigeria.Most husbands hide everything about their money, their bank booklets, even their account numbers and ATM Cards and Pins from their Wives even when these women don't work and stay at home as stay at home mums who help raise their kids. These women cannot access anything about their husband's wealth. The only money they have is that which he pays into their joint accounts or sends to her account for family upkeeps.

These women know almost nothing about their spouse business, income, salaries, the amount of money in the banks, wealth, properties, They know Nada. Then, one day, dear husband travels via Peace mass transit from Enugu to Abuja, or Ifesinachi Motors from Abuja to Lagos or Ekene Dilichukwu transports to Onitcha or probably one of the domestic airlines ranging from Arik, to Peace airlines to Dana Airlines or even one international trip and the sad news comes in...There was a crash...and ...daddy didn't make it....Suddenly all hell is let loosed and there's Chao's within and without both direct and external family. Ask the wife for simple questions and expected needs to do basic things and even eat and guess what -  She knows nothing and is absolutely unawares of where to start.

Back in the Niger Foundation Hospital, Enugu as my Father was pronounced dead, I saw all kinds of reactions in that private ward that night and at the center floor of the hospital, the wailings, the screams, the emotions, the whole pain in my mind even as I type these words, Oh! Collette Orji, The things ive had to experience, what an emotion! Oh! what a night! You will never be prepared enough for news like this...

But as everyone wailed and cried, I looked at my mother, my aunties, my uncles, my brothers, hmmm mmm! everyone had gone out of character and the doctors were looking for just one person who could calm down for 5 seconds and sign the death certificate. You see, when someone is declared dead like that, there's so much you have to do irrespective of your state of mind.

Things like what's even your name? you probably can't spell it well, wheres your phone, who can you call, who should you call, what's their name, the ambulance for the corpse transfer, your belongings in the hospital, the car keys, can you drive, who should drive, put the body in the mortuary, hold yourself together, people running to your home, the random continuous cryings, the absence and total forgetfulness of food, the sudden headache, the loss of voice ...Should I go on? because words fail me etc etc...then, the family meetings and discussions handling possible dates of burial and funeral and cultural and traditional rights and guess what? In all of this... YOU NEED MONEY!!!

So, lets deviate from my late father Mr Godwin Orji and Focus on the money matter even in death. Why do people not talk about death even when it happens daily, even when everyone has had the experience of loosing someone they love and miss today, even when we see all the hassles and even  before i finish this article, someone has just died somewhere, even when Christians sing so much songs and prepare for the Lord Jesus Christ comings YET, No one seems to prepare or talk about death at all. 

Could it be it's so dreadful? how can something so inevitable be so dreadful?
 How can something that's experienced by all be so softly or nevertheless ever spoken? 
we all gather in homes of mourning and back home all the time, no one mentions death.
Maybe there's a curse of death if you talk about death? Do you think so? 
Well, personally, Like my dad, I really love talking about death, You can't escape that word if you are my close friend that chats with me on the phone, for you see, Like Life, I love truly addressing death also because one is incomplete without the other.

Husbands, Please stop hiding your money, your possessions or your wealth from your wife. 
Wives, stop hiding your money from your husband, because, I've noticed Death happens and some families are left with almost nothing to even carry out the funeral rights talk more of continually raising them kids...and sometimes these kids are so young and the family becomes poor over night. I've seen this happen so much that, I cannot shut my mouth no more. Why do couples hide these things so much?

I have realized that the banking system of Nigeria does not exactly have a way of reaching out to families of deceased. You see, Nigeria is a country that, some of these men, opened their accounts maybe when they were still single, so they haven't changed their next of kins names to either their wives or current partners. And vice versa to the women too. The Nigerian Banks does not really reach out to the family members because either the spouses are not the next of kins, or addresses of families and residents are not even verified and guess what? Let me tell you guys something...

There is so many millions of millions of naira belonging to dead people in the banks that no family member is going to collect it since they either don't even know about or don't even have access to.
Since the banks, don't reach out to you personally after inactivity in your account for over 5 years even, they just render the accounts dormant and Life goes on. I know some bankers and some pensioners office will try to sideline me with Noooo, Coco, there's are ways to get your loved one money, you go to the bank, then to the local government office and take the letters to the office of the assigned designated government office within the court's premises and blah blah blah and open an account in the banks name and blah blah blah and you will end up receiving the money of your dead loved one especially when you are the next of kin.

Make no mistake, so many people has succeeded in getting some of their loved one's money, while so much more, have not succeeded. Trust me, I know the process and I've seen how the process works, Like almost everything else in my dear Country Nigeria, It is tremendously really time-consuming and erroneously Hurting. I saw lots of widows on queue during that period and the experience was so dirty. We couldn't watch my mum go through it anymore.

Since, if you didn't know before, the banks doesn't reach out to you, and some spouse don't even know the account name, number or amount or procedure, or even bank names, I don't even know how they should even start. So, why don't we get to awaken to this fact:
 Spouse Stop Hiding Your Money and Your Wealth From each Other so much that it ends up in the hands of those who didn't even merit it. Some people want to tell me about the disadvantages to this, well, since you are aware of the disadvantages, then learn to talk about death and prepare for it, write a will, organize your life and mention the things you would like after you are gone...because, on and on and on...there's already so much problems in the world, to add to the one that a couple could not trust each other enough to handle and continue the empire should one of them be no more, even as they have kids and purpose to fulfill.

If you are from Nigeria, My tribe also Igbo, You will understand that carrying out the burial, the funeral rights of a father, mother, sister, brother is so demanding, so hectic, so Bullshitting, so outrageous, so difficult, so annoying, so stressful, so full of expectations, that, without money, in my Igbo land - you are almost looked at as someone with no hope in their own life just because you could not carry out their 'so called' needed expectations.

This is me not yet saying it is right or wrong, this is me just calling what is, as it is...Talk about death more, and do the necessary while alive, learn to prepare for death like you prepare for your daily life for as we all know, it can happen anytime, anywhere!

By Collette Orji

All rights Reserved © Collette Orji,2017

To Be Continued...Part 2...
The part two of this shall continue shortly as I shall talk and talk and talk on why - sometimes, we don't even need so much money in the bank without a purpose, If you have no immediate business or charity purpose you wanna engage in right away - Stop Piling up too much unnecessary Money...Live Your Life To The Fullest...Just Live and Let Live as we all Got 24 hours Daily....