Collette Orji - Domestic Violence does not have A Vagina Only...It has a penis also!...

I guess for us to broadly discuss domestic violence, we gonna have to start by defining it. 
What is domestic Violence?

 This is the violent or aggressive behaviour within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner.

We could also broaden this: Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse.

Whenever you try to raise the issue of domestic violence, i hear almost every girl i know say something like, 'if a man hits me, am gone', You even read everywhere immediately women screaming, if he hits you once, just go away because he will do it again'...Are these women Wrong? Hell No! No woman should tolerate being hit by her partner.

I just want to use this time tonight to shock some women and in retrospect educate those who think domestic violence is a vagina, by this, i mean that they think Only Women Experience Domestic Violence. Most women and even some men don't know that a high percentage of men are also abused. I can hear someone saying somewhere that for where? abuse ke, abuse ni...Well, men get abused too like women, so domestic violence is not only a female problem, its a man and woman problem.
Well, I grew up in Africa, I actually saw women beat their husbands' blue-black. Yes, I saw women who were always the first to throw the first punch in an argument. I saw it so many times that in between as a girl, I knew I had to be strong too and as a child, I used to even wonder why people bother to get married as couples usually fought publicly.
Some men will come here to say when the woman talks too much or is insulting you? Did she insult you with her hands? Didn't she use her mouth? You also insulting her with your mouth so why do you think you now have to hit her?. Mr. Strong man and Mr. Authorities...I've not seen anything worst than abuse in a marriage. It stinks and its so dirty.
In Africa, Central and West Africa where I spent my early years, You will see the woman rush and button the man, her husband while screaming - Hit me, hit me na, You want to hit me right? She will even be hitting the man and holding his clothes and be screaming hit me? Should that scene that happens 9 out of 10 times in my opinion in most African homes amidst African parents be reversed, Hell will scream Domestic Violence against the woman...I've seen this happen so much and I can see how most people just keep pretending to belong...Matter for another day!
Women abuse men so much also and men are even so ashamed to report. Very few men report domestic abuse as their male machismo ego does not let them. Domestic Violence has both a penis and a vagina, it's not a male monopoly. Women are three times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by their male counterpart than vice versa. Though those numbers suggest a more dire need, they do not connote that women are completely innocent when it comes to domestic violence.
If we are serious about addressing domestic violence, then we must deal with all of the incarnations of the realities of domestic violence.
This article is not about the disadvantages and ill health of Domestic Violence per say No!
 “You’re saying abused women are asking for it,” or “You’re blaming the victim,” get hurled. No person — female or male — is asking for it, and no victim — female or male — should be blamed for what is done to them.
 I’m merely broadening the definitions of abuser and victim.

...This article is just to let us remember that men also get abused and unfortunately, it's also a relatively high percentage.
More women suffer domestic violence than men, That's both a truth and a fact. NO ONE CAN THRIVE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP! An abusive spouse is an abusive spouse.
“Domestic violence is not about size, gender, or strength. It’s about abuse, control, and power, and getting out of dangerous situations and getting help, whether you are a woman being abused, or a man.”
The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically; however, the one constant component of domestic violence is one partner’s consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the other.

All rights Reserved,Collette Orji, ©2017

coco's note:
Say No To Domestic Violence...

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